Litigation in the Banana Republic

Why bad-mouth bananas? The Land of Oranges & Strawberries is just as much fun...

Once upon a time, in the Land of Oranges & Strawberries, a large corporation - Countrywide - decided, through its Chief Legal Officer - Sandor Samuels, the President of the House of Justice (Bet Tzedek) himself - to engage in fraud in litigation - a favor of sorts for an old business partner... But it wanted to run the fraud anonymously, from behind the scenes, through the judge, without ever even appearing in court and being exposed for what it was doing... After all, the presidency of the House of Justice - Bet Tzedek, required some dignity and provided some privileges...
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Unfortunately, it did not work out that way. Defendant figured out the connection, and make it public, and the company had to mess up in the litigation... and show up in court...
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First - a reputable law-firm was retained - Bryan Cave, LLP - to handle such delicate matter. Second- the presidency still provided some privileges, or maybe it was just plain cash that provided the privileges? Therefore, when Countrywide was exposed- and had to appear in court, it decided, in collusion with Judge Jacqueline Connor (best known for derailing the Rampart trial in 2000), that if it had to appear in litigation, it would still be protected by the "Theory of Cash Privileges and Immunities".
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Therefore, Countrywide would not have to engage in litigation like commoners, instead, pursuant to the theory cited above, it would have no party designation... neither Plaintiff nor Defendant... it would remain above the frey - as a Cash-Privileges-Non-Party throughout litigation...
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But more recently, Sandor Samuels was no longer President, in fact, no longer Chief Legal Officer either... and Countrywide was no longer in position to make any decisions of its own whatsoever, since control was transferred to Bank of America Corporation...
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It was extremely unlikely that Bank of America would like to go on with the special relationships with Judge Connor and the LA Superior Court... BOA was giving up, just like that, one of the major assets of Countrywide...
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But Mr Samuels still wanted to go on with the litigation - at least a little bit longer, now that his protege, Terry Friedman got hold of the court file. Friedman does not split hairs like some others. Defendant has been chanting "out of compliance and in violation of the law" like a mantra, until he got blue in the face, since the Honorable Friedman never had an Assignment Order, and Friedman is holding the court file as if it were his own personal property. But as stated before, Friedman does not split hairs like some others...

Therefore - opportunities for abuse arose, that were never open before.
Why not jail Defendant? Bankrupt him? Or better yet - both?
Even under Judge Connor, who is pretty liberal and activist in applying her authority on the bench, and prone to the habit of generating new legal constructs out of nothing, never has such flexibility been seen before...

Giving it up now simply made no sense at all... But Bank of America was not cooperative, and was not inclined to participate in such game. Therefore, Mr Samuels had to continue the litigation, relying more heavily than ever before on said "Theory of Cash Privileges and Immunities" .

And so it came to be in the Land of Oranges & Strawberries, that Countrywide, party formerly known as Cash-Privileges-Non-Party was now transformed into the Cash-Privileges-Non-Entity...

Small technical problems were solved through Friedman's creative imagination-
For example - how do you send notice to parties, when you must never list the Cash-Privileges-Non-Entity? Well, you send notice to each party separately, and order each party to notice all other parties...

Bryan Cave, LLP, a respectable national and international major law firm, refuses to disclose the identity of the party they have been representing ever since the change of control in Countrywide to Bank of America.

That is what separates the boys from the men, as we used to say, or otherwise put - what separates the big league, and Bryan Cave, LLP, from the little league, where Sheppard Mullin is still engaging in fraud the old-fashioned way, lacking any imagination...

We shall keep the readers posted regarding new developments in the vanguards of law and litigation... new legal theories... new landmarks in jurisprudence, all from the Land of Oranges & Strawberries...